Respect Life: Health Care Reform - Contact your Senators & Representatives Today

As we observe the end of Respect Life month, the House released their 1,990 page Health Care Reform bill that most decidedly does not respect life.

In an unprecedented move, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USSCB) has delivered a solid written statement to all  Catholic parishes and congregations asking them to strongly send a message  to their U.S. Senators and U.S Representatives against the Health Care Reform bills in both houses of Congress.  Catholics should urge their political representatives to vote against the bills in their current form.

The motivation of the USCCB is that they support health care reform that respects the life and dignity of all people, and these bills are in direct contradiction to that mission.  Congress, in drafting these bills, rejected several amendments that included bans on taxpayer funded abortion and a strong conscience clause to protect health care workers.

Under the current health care reform bills, your tax dollars will go to perform abortions and health care workers are not protected from being forced to perform procedures against their moral or religious beliefs.  Parishes have been asked to include an insert in the weekly Bulletin or flyer for distribution after Mass.  Visit this link to get a copy to forward to your parish office to verify inclusion. 

The USCCB is not alone in their opposition to the bills, the Texas Catholic Conference has also issued a strong statement against the current Health Care Reform bills, along with The Catholic Medical Association.

In addition to the provisions against Life, there are other problems with these bills that are too numerous to list here.  Another large issue to bring to your attention are the increased taxes on the average American included in Health Care Reform. These tax increases do not discriminate; they  apply across the board to all Americans and all Businesses.

The proponents of Health Care Reform would have you believe only the "rich" would be affected. This is simply not true. For example, included is an excise tax on medical devices, such as hearing aids, contact lenses and the like.  There are 13 New Tax Increases in the House Democrat Health Care Bill, and many were not in the previous House versions of this bill.  It is predicted these tax increases will cost taxpayers $700 Billion in the next ten years.

Another argument for passing this legislation is that there is an urgency to cover all the uninsured persons immediately.  The bills being considered prove that argument to be false.  While the increased taxes take effect immediately upon passage, the health benefits do not start until 2013, several years too late to provide assistance to anyone currently hurting without insurance during our current economic downturn.  

The Congressional Budget Office has estimated that this bill will cost the U.S. $1.055 TRILLION, not including the $245 billion needed to stop Medicare payments to doctors from decreasing, which the House plans to address through separate legislation introduced Thursday.  They also anticipate that penalties against individuals and corporations will bring in $161 billion and income and excise taxes levied will raise another $572 billion.

Proponents of the Health Care Reform Bills would have you believe that the only opposition to this bill is manufactured by the Republican Party.  First, no one who is intellectually honest could even accuse the Catholic Church in America of being controlled or influenced by the Republican Party.  Second,  Democrats and Independents are on the fence or against the Health Care Reform Bills, and Senator Leibermann (I) announcing his intent to join a filibuster against the Senate bill, the only true bipartisan unity is against these bills.

Time is of the essence. A vote could come on this bill as early as next week. Contact your Senator and Representative today!

* This post was a true joint effort, as Lisa accidentally deleted Shelly's draft on the topic. So, Lisa rewrote it with help from Shelly.

Happy Birthday Stellan

In early July 2008, the woman we know as MckMama went for her routine 20-week ultrasound for her fourth pregnancy. She discovered that there was a problem with the baby's heart. From that moment forward, this blogging mother of MSC (many small children; she has four) shared with her friends her fear, worries, determination, strength, and humbling faith.

Through word of mouth, her blog grew beyond expectations. There is a whole community that follows McKMama via her blog or twitter. I've posted about her before during one of Stellan's previous hospitalizations.

Two days ago Stellan's heart flipped into prolonged SVT and again things look very serious for him.

I keep thinking about this "miracle baby." When they first learned about his heart condition, the doctors said they were 95% certain that he would be stillborn. Very few medical professionals actually thought this child would survive his birth (today, one year ago). Miraculously, he was born alive...and has survived incredible odds.

No matter what happens to Stellan today, I honestly see this child as a sign from God that He exists. That He answers prayer. That He has a plan and we don't know what it is. That we must rely on blind faith. That God carries us through.

Stellan's LIFE is a GIFT. It is a clear sign that one life, no matter how small, can make a difference. Here, at the end of Respect Life month, this child - whom doctors said would not be here today - struggles for his life and we pray for God to heal him. We also pray God's will be done.

As I'm praying today for Stellan and his family, I'm reminded of these words MckMama wrote on August 7, 2008 before she knew Stellan would be born alive.

Stellan will live. He will! He will live here on earth, or he will live in Heaven with my sweet Jesus. God knows what He is going--for His glory--and none of this surprises Him. And, even if Stellan were to go home to Heaven today, I would still be so proud of all that he has accomplished even in his short life on earth!! I would count myself blessed to have carried him in my womb. And just as I have been a vessel of medication for him, Stellan has been a vessel of God's work in my spiritual life! He has been a conduit of change and revival in countless others, too--I dare say more than some full grown adults!! Yes, Stellan will live!!

Urban Sprawl

While Lisa and I were growing up on the north side of Houston, our parents would occasionally shake their head wonderingly and say, “I remember when all of this was trees and the road nothing but a two-lane farm-to-market.” At the time, the county began a project that widened the FM from four to seven lanes across. Now, twenty plus years later, that area has bloomed and wilted, with dense commercial development past its prime.

On a recent visit to my brother-in-law’s home in North Texas, we drove to Fort Worth, heading across on a road that I used to drive regularly to attend graduate school seventeen years ago. I remember well the two-lane blacktop with a wide shoulder where farm trucks and occasionally an 18-wheeler would pull over to let you pass. For two years I watched the changing seasons of sorghum, corn, and cotton being planted and harvested. Farmhouses dotted the landscape every few miles, especially this one little white house sitting on a slight rise surrounded by an ocean of green waves.

Now, the black-top is a modern three-lanes each way with a dedicated turn lane in the center. Billboards line the roadside announcing master planned communities like Prosper, Providence, and Savannah. Where big fields of sorghum and cotton once stood are rows and rows of homes clustered together. Signs advertise lots for sale and retail pad development.

In between the communities, fields lie fallow, a few hay bales lining the road. As a throwback to my memory, a late crop of sorghum stretches across maybe 100 acres. A new stoplight creates an intersection showcasing a grain silo faced by a head of forty-plus black Angus grazing. However, the sign says “CC Land Company, 101.5 acres for sale.”

The little white farm house I remember admiring every day is gone, without any landmark to remind me where it had stood. Eventually the remaining fields give way again to fully developed communities. Tractors that once plowed fields now mow swathes of St. Augustine. Finally, a few miles outside of Denton, I recognize a few familiar landmarks, homes and businesses that existed seventeen years ago.

During the entire drive, I marveled at the sprawl of urban living reaching out so far into this once rural farm community. Only forty miles north of here, just south of the Red River, my husband’s family once farmed Texas over 125 years ago. How long until the urban sprawl between Sherman and Gainsville encroaches on that land?

As this urban living creeps out steadily, will there be a day when there are no rural farms left?

Joy of a New Parish

My family currently belongs to a new parish that began celebrating mass as a community 16 months ago.  Moving from a parish with over 6,000 families to one that started with less than 100 was an eye opening shock to my system.  Our masses are small, personal with a nice sense of community in a gymnasium full of workout equipment.  The altar sits underneath the basketball hoop with our chairs lined up on the court.

There are definitely perks to belonging to a growing parish, which now boasts almost 500 families.  We now have a CCE program, 3 masses with a separate choir for each, children’s liturgy, weekly adoration, a ladies guild and a wonderful group of Knights.    As the “amenities” keep growing, I think back to the churches I came from and remember how they felt.  And, as much as I love all the growth and new things offered, the “amenities” aren’t the reason to attend a church or belong to a parish.   It is the sense of spiritual community and family that makes me want to celebrate the Eucharist with this parish. 

We are reminded on Sundays, as we proceed to the free throw line to receive communion, that a church is not the building, but the people themselves coming together to praise and worship God.  It is amazing to look around you at Mass and see Jesus in the faces of the congregation and then suddenly remember we are meeting in a metal building with garage doors that roll up.  God doesn’t care what our building looks like or where we choose to come together to worship, only that we do celebrate Mass in his name with each other as a community.

I hear friends and fellow Catholics in the neighborhood say they won’t go to our new parish because they refuse to attend mass in a gym.  They plan to wait for the new parish hall to be finished next year.   My heart hurts because they don’t know what our small amazing community has to offer them and their family.  They are missing out on the truly spiritual journey of building not just a building, but a real worship community.   It has been a blessing to be a part of our new growing parish and church community.

A Survivor from the Lost Generation of Catholics

The most recent book in my huge nightstand bookstack for me to finish reading was, “A Survivor from the Lost Generation of Catholics” by Traci Matheu.   My interest in reading this book came about when I heard Lisa Hendey interview the author on Catholic Moments in 2008. Since I’m from that same generation of “lost Catholics” the topic really piqued my interest. 

The author used this book as a personal journey of sorts. At times the chapters didn’t really seem to flow together, but individually, I enjoyed them. The author brought it all together finally in the last chapter.

My interest in the book really perked up when I hit Chapter 4.  Faith Without Knowledge Cannot Grow.   This chapter is at the heart of what identifies us, the post Vatican II children, as the “Lost Generation of Catholics”.  We grew up without focusing on details about the Catechism or the deep foundation of our faith; instead our education focused on how much God loves us and the spiritual nature of faith. 

In Chapter 5, How to Repair the Foundation of the Family, the author writes with a voice that could have been my own voice.  She speaks about her own journey that greatly parallels much of my own.

As a Mom, I have a responsibility to teach my children, but how was I going to convince my family to join the “band wagon” and become this wonderful Catholic family if I don’t know anything about my own faith? The more I learn about my faith, the more I understand all it has to offer?  The author reassures me that while I do need my husband to be part of this faith quest to best raise our children in the faith, he doesn’t necessarily have to walk the same path I am on. 

My identification with the book continued through Chapter 5-8 as Traci Matheu addresses living the faith in our marriage and families.  In Chapter 10, she relates her personal story of crisis that opened her eyes to her relationship with God in a new way.  Her journey from that crisis is told with great humility and honesty and it forced me to reflect on my own relationship with God. 

The rest of the book is a good read, though it is not wholly unique to our Generation of Catholics. From my perspective, the book contains good, well written information about our faith, families, society and country.  

If you are a cradle catholic who was born in the 1960’s or 70’s, you will probably identify with the author’s stories and experiences growing up in the Church post Vatican II.  The book’s strength lies in the middle chapters and makes the rest of the book worthwhile and an inspired read.

October 22

Lisa wanted to post a book review this morning, but I have insisted all week that I was going to write something about today and what it means to me. And now that the day is here, I'm still struggling to write it.

I expect all of us have a special day where we remember someone we've lost. October 22 is that day for me. When I was five years old, my cousin died. It's been 33 years and I can't say exactly why this day still stands out to me. I suppose something about losing him embedded itself deep within me.

We were living in St. Louis. He had an accident, was in hospital, and died about a week later. Mom told me many years ago where we were on that day and how we drove back to Houston while he was in the hospital, but did not attend the funeral. The funny thing is I can remember what we were doing the day of the accident, but I do not remember the drive back to Houston or being in Houston. I do remember Halloween a week later.

I remember my cousin, though the memories are fuzzy around the edges after so many years. He was 7, nearly 8 years old. I'm told he was a handful, but what I remember most is playing in the backyard in his tree fort, and building castles with legos, and playing with his puppy. One time he had friends over when we were visiting and he didn't want to play with me and I remember being very angry and hurt about that.

A few years ago I conducted an oral history with my grandmother and she talked about that horrible day and his death. I've spoken with my aunt a few times about it also, but I'll never really comprehend how she found the strength to get through that experience.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I asked my aunt if I could name the baby in honor of my cousin. My aunt not only agreed, but also she gave me my cousin's baby shoes for my daughter's baptism. In the weeks before my daughter's eighth birthday, I had a moment of irrational fear that something might happen to her, but once she passed that milestone I've rarely thought of it again. I've never spoken of it until now. I know it sounds completely ridiculous.

As a child, when I learned about heaven and seeing our loved ones there, I often wondered whether I'd meet him as a child or as an adult.

Still, every year on October 22, I stop and remember him. I think about how old he would be this year and wonder who he would be had he lived.

The photo I wanted to use isn't available to me at the moment, so I'll post this one of all the cousins at Easter, 1974. I am in the back row in yellow with Lisa in front of me. Cameron is in the blue suit.

Mission Sunday

This past Sunday the church celebrated Mission Sunday. In past years I have sat through many a homily delivered by a visiting priest responsible for a foreign mission in some part of our world. His homily always extolled their good deeds and suffering, ending with a request for a generous second collection.

So I settled into the pew with my envelope, check enclosed, waiting for our guest. But no visiting priest proceeded down the aisle, only Father Matthew. He delivered a wonderful homily for Mission Sunday.

He reminded us that Mission Sunday is not just about the second collection and giving money to foreign missions. It is about our personal contribution, asking to become more like Jesus, who washed the feet of his disciples to teach them to serve. Jesus wants us to spread God’s Love. How can we serve Him? Each answer will be unique and we must listen for and find the answer that fits you.

Father Matthew challenged us to be Missionaries within our own families, praying together, loving, respecting, and forgiving each other. He reminded us that working for Christ is not a part-time job.

Support a Catholic Speaker Month: Teresa Tomeo

Our contribution to Support a Catholic Speaker Month is Catholic author, media consultant, and professional speaker Teresa Tomeo. If this post sounds a bit formal, it's because I didn't know much about Teresa until I started my research. I recognized the All Things Girl books as ones that Lisa considered buying as a Godmother gift for my "tween" daughter. As I learned about Teresa and her calling, I'm now intrigued and think I want to do a little more reading or listening. I think you will be interested in her message also.

Teresa received a bachelor of Applied Arts in Journalism from Central Michigan University and went to work as a radio and TV news reporter and anchor woman primarily in the Detroit area. According to her own website bio, she first received recognition for her radio news reporting and anchor work. In 1988, she moved to TV news, working as a reporter/anchor. Her assignments covered some of the most significant stories of the 1990s, including the Oklahoma City Bombing and the 1995 Papal visit.

In a Catholic Moments interview with Lisa Hendey, Teresa spoke of her personal “Come to Jesus” moment; how she realized that she and her husband were neglecting their duties to each other, allowing their relationship to suffer from their very success-oriented, secular mentality. When a six month unemployment forced her to examine her life, she noticed a change in her husband resulting from his reversion to faith and she decided to do the same.

Her decision to enter faith oriented broadcasting was not an overnight decision. After returning to work with a local secular radio station, she became aware of media trends turning toward sensationalism, violence, and liberal bias. She quit her job to form her own communications company speaking to various audiences about media influence. After one to two years of promotion, she began receiving regular speaking engagements. Another radio opportunity opened the door for her involvement with Ave Maria Radio.

In Detroit, Teresa now hosts the daily radio show “Catholic Connection,” discussing social issues and media awareness. The second hour of the show is syndicated and available through EWTN Global Catholic Radio and Sirius Satellite Channel 160.

She also conducts media awareness seminars for schools, community groups and churches. Drawing on her years of experience, she provides valuable instructions on how to positively influence today’s media.

Teresa has also turned her attention towards writing, authoring two solo books, and co-authoring the popular All Things Girl series. Her latest collaboration, All Things Guy, hit the shelves this past February.

Her first book, Noise: How Our Media-Saturated Culture Dominates Lives and Dismantles Families provides a one-stop shopping resource for parents about media influence, providing them with a real sense of why they should be concerned and offering real solutions.

In 2008, Teresa Tomeo was one of thirty delgates from the U.S. invited to participate in the 20th anniversary of Mulieris Dignitatum, a "Congress on Women" in Rome.

We invite you to visit her website to learn more about this amazing Catholic woman.

A Silent Observer

Yesterday I finally listened to the Among Women podcast for the first time.  I met host Pat Gohn back in June at the Catholic New Media Celebration and only now have gotten around to listening to her work.  Her recent podcast included an interview with a young lady named Kathleen Fitzpatrick, who described her journey with an unplanned pregnancy and how that unexpected blessing has affected her life in ways she couldn't have imagined.

Years ago, I had a dear friend who was faced with an unexpected pregnancy while still a young woman.  At the time she took her pregnancy test, I remember sitting with her just stunned and silent.  I had no words or reassurance for her. The next day, she had her pregnancy confirmed by a health clinic and received a referral for abortion. 

 I am ashamed to say that I stood by while she chose to end her baby’s life the day after she knew he existed.   In my mind, I know that I was young and ill-prepared to face this difficult issue, but in my heart it is small reconciliation.   There is little hope that I could have done anything to change her decision, but I sometimes wonder how I could have been a better friend to her at that difficult time.  The best word I could use to describe how I felt that week was confused.  I knew deep in my soul that it was a bad and wrong decision, but could see and feel the pressure to accept her choice.  Even though society seemed to dictate that I was to understand and offer condolences regarding the difficulty of her choice, I really couldn’t do it.  So instead, I did nothing.

Even though it has been almost 20 years, I still think about that week and pray for her unborn baby.  I ask God for forgiveness in being a silent observer. 

When I hear stories like Kathleen Fitzpatrick, I wonder how things could have been different for my friend. 

Don't close your eyes

Earlier I received The Meal Box by Bret Nicholaus and Tom McGrath from Loyola Press. The set is designed to inspire faith-based family conversations around the dinner table. It looks like a deck of playing cards and each card contains a fun question on one side and a "food for family thought" tip on the reverse.

The Family Thought on our very first card read:

I recall how long it took to learn how to hit a baseball. As he pitched ball after ball my way, my father would chant, "Keepy your eye on the ball." But fear had me closing my eyes and swinging blindly. In your life, what does fear prevent you from seeing?

My seven-year old daughter played her first season of softball last Spring. So I asked her if she had ever closed her eyes when the ball was pitched to her.

"Heck no*," she replied "I'd be afraid if I closed my eyes the ball would hit me right in the face!"

Don't close your eyes or life might hit you right in the face!

* We've been reading J.D. Fitzgerald's series The Great Brain. The first person narrative consistently uses the phrase "Heck no" everytime he wonders if he'd learned his lesson yet.

The Meal Box

Last month, I received a new product from Loyola Press called The Meal Box.  The description in the Loyola Press catalog intrigued me because it sounded like something my family could enjoy together …

Family conversation at mealtime just got a lot more fun—and a lot more faith-filled—with The Meal Box, the perfect antidote to family dinnertime drudgery.

We have not been disappointed with this box of 54 cards, each with a creative question to spark family dinner table conversation.  These questions are great and appropriate for all ages (my own kids are ages 3-7 yrs old).  They ask creative and open ended questions that are sure to start a fun conversation at the dinner table or anytime you choose.

 Last night, we answered the question, “If you could release a helium balloon with a message card attached to the end of the string, what message would you write for the unknown recipient to read?  The kids had never heard of this tradition, so it gave my husband and I a chance to tell them our stories of releasing balloons as children.  The kids had lots of fun describing the messages they would write and where the best place to release it might be for someone to find it.  Our daughter even decided it would be best to include an email address so the person who found it could send us their own message.

We’ve only had The Meal Box for a short few weeks, but the kids have fallen in love with it.  When I forget to bring them out at the dinner table, my husband and kids will all remind me, very loudly.  This is a great product that is appropriate for all ages of kids, teenagers and adults and would make a great gift for others. I know it will quickly become a favorite at your dinner table just like it has at mine.

As a reviewer for Loyola Press, we have received a free copy of this product in exchange for our honest review.

Daily Trips to Italy

In honor of Columbus Day and our Italian cultural heritage, I want to share a fascinating Italian resource with you.

Whether you've been to Italy or only dreamed of going some day, you can have a little bit of Italian culture and history arrive in your email box every morning by subscribing to the Italian Notebook. Various contributors provide short vignettes of local history, interesting places, food, wine, archeology, art, etc. on a daily basis.

Learn about places like San Pietro in Valle, an 8th century cloister, monastery and church in the Nerina Valley, a living chess match in Marostica, a medival city near Verona, discover walk through bakerys in Rome, and marvel at the works of Raffaello in Urbino.

My favorite notes come from GB, the editor, when he shares recipes and stories from his "girlfriends" (the youngest is 78).

Each note includes a link to a map of Italy, with all of the notes pinpointed. So if you're planning a trip (for real or only in your mind) and want to see what has been noted about those locales in advance, you can drag around and click on the map to your heart's content. I know nothing about Umbria in Central Italy, but after reading the Italian Notebook, I know where I want to visit one day.

Take a second and sign up for your free daily email from Italy... for Italy lovers everywhere!

Life in a Jar: Remembering Irena Sendler

Irena Sendler was born in Warsaw, Poland in 1910. Her father, a doctor, died during a typhus epidemic in 1917. She attended Warsaw University, but was dismissed for failing to comply with Jewish segregation laws.

When the Germans invaded Warsaw in 1939, Irena began helping Jews with food, shelter, and false documents. Her position as an administrator at the Warsaw Social Work Department allowed her to develop a network of 24 helpers who rescued children and found them hiding places in Polish homes, convents, and orphanages.

In her role as a social worker, she was permitted to enter the Warsaw Ghetto. For a three month period in the summer of 1942, she worked to smuggle out children, including infants. When the underground group Zegota organized that fall, Irena headed the children’s division. She carefully documented the names of the hidden children in jars and buried them, so the children could be reunited with their true families after the war.

They saved the lives of 2,500 children from the Holocaust.

On October 20, 1943, the Gestapo captured Irena and placed her in Pawiak Prison, where she was questioned and tortured. Her legs and feet were broken and she was sentenced to death. Zegota bribed the executioner to help her escape, and she remained in hiding for the remaining years of the war. After World War II ended, Irena dug up the jars and began the job of trying to find a living parent for the hidden children.

Almost all of the parents had died in Treblinka or another death camp.

In 1965, Yad Vashem honored Irena as Righteous Among the Nations.

In 1999, four students in Kansas chose Irena Sendler as their National History Day Project, winning their State competition for Senior Group Performance for their ten-minute performance of Irena’s life titled, “Life in a Jar.” Their project inspired international interest in Irena’s role during World War II. When the girls discovered Irena still lived, they corresponded with her and later raised money to visit her in Poland.

Irena received the 2003 Jan Karski award for Valor and Compassion and in 2007, she received a nomination for the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize.

Irena Sendler passed away on May 12, 2008, in Warsaw, Poland.

Respect Life for the Elderly and Infirm

Respect Life Month is not only about the vulnerable unborn, but also the elderly and infirm.  While you follow and pray for the 40 Days for Life movement, please pray for, and assist or visit our elders, who deserve to be treated with dignity and integrity as they are no longer able to care for themselves.

The best column I’ve read  reminding us to care and visit the elderly and infirm came from Deacon Tom Fox , now a podcaster with Catholic Vitamins, writing as a guest columnist for Catholic Mom.   He reminds us, “visiting the sick, the elderly, the confined – and showing them the dignity inherent in each human being – that’s a part of respect for life… whether the recipient knows or understands or not.”   If you’ll notice as you read his post, I was so moved at the time, I left him a comment. 

 This topic is very personal for Shelly and I because we have a grandmother who suffers from Dementia.  It has been extremely difficult for our family to watch this once vibrant woman slip away from us while still in good physical health.  Granny was moved last year to "The Village", which is the name for the Dementia Care Unit at her facility. She has made a marked decline these last few years, with it seeming to speed up over the last several months.

It is not unusual to arrive for a visit and find her sitting on the couch waiting for her Daddy to take her home, or to find her without much emotion or things to talk about. While it is difficult to see her living in the past, I think the days where she is very quiet are more difficult to experience. The dementia has robbed her of that spark that made her uniquely her. 

Granny always had such a zest for life, so happy, always singing or humming a song - well, when she wasn't talking about the Astros or some other sports team. It is still amazing to me how much she knew about sports - specific stats about so many players and teams. And not just the Astros. She loved the Oilers, the New Orleans Saints and of course my own Houston Cougars.

This last Sunday, I was surprised to find her in a pleasant, dare I say, happy mood when my youngest daughter and I visited with her.  She laughed as my Birdie crawled all over her trying to find the best place to give her lots of kisses and hugs.  If she didn’t know who we were, she didn’t show it for a moment.  It amazes me how she and the other men and women in her unit react to my children.  Their faces brighten with an amused look the moment they see us come down the hallway.  The days Granny is unable to hold a conversation, I simply let the kids dance around in front of her. 

Deacon Tom inspired me to think about the benefits Granny receives from each person who visits her, whether she remembers them or not.   I concur with his call to action.  Respect Life Month is a great time to make a committment to remembering and supporting our elderly and infirm with the dignity and respect they so richly deserve.

Parish Priests

Are you close to the priest at your parish? Do you feel as though you could approach him with any thoughts, concerns, or problems you are having in your life? Shelly and I have discussing this topic for a while. After we began our blog and have been meeting so many Catholic families and priests, we realized neither one of us has a personal relationship with our parish priest.

At my old parish, we had three priests, three permanent deacons and over  6,000 families. It was tough to get any one on one time to get close to the clergy. However, my husband and I were close to one of the Deacons. He counseled us while engaged,  performed our wedding, ceremony, and then baptized each of our kids. After ten years at that parish, we moved a couple years ago, and discovered our favorite deacon was also moved to help start a brand new parish in our new community. What fortune. After some time, he left the new parish and I am here without being close to the priest. We still keep in touch with Deacon Bob but really miss seeing him on a weekly basis.

Our new parish has been celebrating Mass for fifteen months, meeting in a gym, with one priest, one deacon, and 410 registered families. This is my first experience with a small parish and it’s been great.  I have to admit that I haven't taken the time to get to know our parish priest, and he does warn us that in a few years, after we build the big church, our parish will grow to be just like the parish I left. Father John counsels that it is up to us, as a community, to maintain this small church feeling that we love, even after we grow into a large parish. Since we broke ground on our new parish property a few weeks ago and the building has begun, I need to seize this opportunity now to develop a relationship with our priest before the parish grows as predicted.

My experience is slightly different, because when I lived in Galveston we got to know the parish priest through our pre-marriage counseling. He was kind, but firm, in guiding us through a number of issues. In turn, we learned about him and from that time on, really felt as though we knew him as a friend. He baptized our older daughter, greeted us personally by name after Mass, and always had a kind word on a personal level. When we moved away from Galveston eight years ago, we briefly considered making the 45 minute drive weekly to continue attending his church, but didn’t.

I had a harder time choosing one of the two churches near my new house, feeling very out of place with these more “modern” styled churches, built in the late 1970s and 1990s. When I became pregnant in 2002, I had to choose one of the two. At the same time, my husband lost his mother and that event threw our family into a grief and angst that made choosing a new church emotionally very difficult. I sometimes wonder what difference it might have made if I had chosen the other parish, but I am involved now in CCE and other volunteer work here, so here I shall stay. I never really knew the parish Carmelite priests, but they were recalled last year, and I’m now considering how I can better know our new parish priests.

What kind of connection do you feel with your priests?

How did that connection develop and grow?

Sacraments for Children

This week we're reviewing the Three Brothers/Three Sisters Tote Set from the Catholic Company reviewers program.

The set includes seven books about the Sacraments, an Activity prayer card, and a deck of playing cards in a sturdy canvas tote just the right size for young children. After reading through the books, I asked my ten and seven year old daughters to read them. They happily went right to work.

My ten year old says they are too young for her, but my seven year old really enjoyed them - especially Betty Says, "I'm Sorry!" A Story Celebrating Reconciliation and John's Special Sunday! A Story Celebrating Holy Communion.

Four of the books feature three brothers, while the other three books feature three sisters. The stories are simple and appropriate for kids 3-7 years old. Instead of suits, the deck of 52-cards features four matching cards of the sacraments and people involved. The "How to Play" card gives the directions for Go Fish, but children will also enjoy playing Concentration or another matching game appropriate for their age. The same bright, friendly art found in the books is featured on the cards.

This set is a great value and would make a wonderful Christmas or Birthday present for your young child, Godchild, grandchild, neice or nephew. I can't wait to pass it on to my three and five year old neice and nephew so they can read up on the two Sacraments their sister and cousin will be celebrating this year.

40 Days for Life Update from Houston

At the beginning of this "Respect Life Month", I received an update from 40 Days for Life with the following message....

I received a report from Houston that was both eye-opening and heartbreaking.  People participating in the 40 Days for Life vigil watched as a young man who appeared to be in tears walked into Planned Parenthood with his girlfriend and her mother.  When they left some time later, he was most certainly crying -- and obviously quite upset.

I'll let one of the prayer vigil participants pick up the story...

I watched him head down the street, alternating  between wiping the tears from his face and punching  the buildings in anger and frustration as he passed  them. Eventually he headed back toward the parking  lot. As he approached, I went to him first. All I  could think to say was that I was so very sorry for  his loss. He began to cry again.

Then a truck pulled up leaving the parking lot with  his girlfriend and her mother inside. The girl's  mother yelled at him to get in and cursed him as he  opened the door. He had one foot inside, then  stepped back out and closed the door. As she drove  away he promptly sat down on the curb and cried  like a baby. Three of us sat down beside him -- all  men -- and cried with him.

  

Eventually, he began to talk. He was probably in  his very early twenties. He told us that his  girlfriend did not want to keep the child because  she feared they would not be able to provide for  him. He asked her how she could destroy a life  based on a hunch. He told her this child had a  heartbeat and a soul and deserved to live. He even  tried to convince her to, at the very least, put  the child up for adoption.

I was struck by the fact that this young man knew  all this simply because his heart told him it was  true. He was wise well beyond his years and he was  hurting terribly.

I was struck by the clear reality that fathers have  so little to do with whether their own children  live or die. I also couldn't help but notice that  despite the high volume of Planned Parenthood  volunteers around, none of them approached him.

Before I left him, he stood up to hug me. All I  could tell him was what I truly believed -- that  today, his child knows that his/her father fought  for it. That to his child, he is a hero and that  someday he would know that also.

Please pray for this young man and others like him.The tragedy of abortion is real and happening every day. No one knows that better than he.

I sincerely hope this young man comes to embrace the exceptional advice he was given; but that will most certainly take time. I cannot even begin to imagine the anguish.

This is a first-person account of what abortion does to fathers. Who knows how many others have walked in his shoes, as there are more than a million abortions every year -- and more than 50 million since the 1973 Roe v. Wade decision that opened the floodgates to abortion on demand.

Visit the 40 Days for Life Blog for more personal testimony, prayer vigil locations, or to receive their daily devotionals during the campaign.  It is beautful to see people speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves and living out the Gospel in this way.

Praying for Spousal Conversion

Every year as our church starts a new RCIA class, I pray that my husband will attend and be moved to commit to joining the Church. I pray, I ask others to pray, but I actually haven’t really discussed it in depth with him or prayed with him about this decision.

And every year, another class of RCIA starts and ends without him joining. As it is that time of year at our parish again, I’ve mentioned it to him, passed on the information and have been fervently praying for his spiritual conversion.

As I sat Sunday waiting for Mass to begin my thoughts wandered to my reasons for wanting him to join so badly. Do I really want him to truly spend the time and get to know God, or is it about joining the Church to be with the kids and I? Why is that introductory meeting of RCIA so important to me? Am I hoping they can reach him on a spiritual level and talk to him about faith in a way that I, as his wife, have been unable? Why have I not been able to fully share my faith and that of the Church with my husband?

As his wife, I should be uniquely qualified to share my own faith journey and offer my help for him to start his own. For some reason, after more than a decade, I am still finding it difficult for us to open up to each other in this way. Our difficulty discussing things of faith was exposed to us during our pre-marriage counseling in the Church. The deacon who married us, and subsequently baptized our children, has strongly encouraged us over the years to actively work on this aspect of our marriage.

While sitting in Mass, it hit me that I need to focus on this in a different way. First, rather than praying he attend RCIA, I should ask my husband to pray with me to ask for God’s guidance in his spiritual journey and to ask God to help me model my faith in a way that will inspire my husband. That alone would be a big small step for us. I need to adjust my focus away from hoping near strangers at RCIA class will get him started on his path, and work harder sharing my spiritual journey with him as his wife.

Second, I need to always prayerfully remember that everything happens on God’s time, not according to my own agenda, needs or wants. I need to ask God for, and listen for, his guidance on how to best serve my husband as he searches for his own personal relationship with God.

We Have a Winner of our Bringing Up Geeks Giveaway

My husband helped me out and randomly chose a number for a winner last night. for our Bringing Up Geeks Review and Giveaway.  Congratulations Melissa!  If you will send me your address at soundmindandspirit[at]gmail[dot]com or on FaceBook, I'll get your new copy of Bringing Up Geeks in the mail to you. 

I know you will love this book as much as I do!  Thank you to everyone who entered in our September giveaway.